The DOSE energy drink will make you So Ill

The DOSE energy drink from So iLL
The DOSE energy drink from So iLL

I recently caught wind via the Bookface that one of my favorite hold companies in the universe, So iLL, has created their very own energy drink. In keeping with their other products, it has a medical moniker: The DOSE.

Now, if you know me, you’ll know that I love energy drinks. In fact, I’m slurping one right now. It’s called CRUNK!!!, and I got it because I heard that Lil John makes it in his bathtub. (Can anyone please confirm or disconfirm?!) I once called the 800 number printed on the can and get a recording of Lil John reading me through the phone tree. Besides Lil John, the thing I like most about CRUNK!!! is how much you can taste the horny goat weed extract.

All this is just to say that I’m pumped out of my mind about the idea of an energy drink made just for climbers. Sick. I also love when climbing companies push against the typically boundaries of our little industry. It’s exciting and interesting and makes you wonder which brand, if any, will become the Burton Snowboards of the climbing world.

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WTF: Fitness Equipment and Hostess Sale

At the friendly neighborhood Target

What is America’s Problem? Oh, it’s a Loaded Question, I know. To admit that we have a Problem, well, that’s tantamount to admitting you’re a communist. Of course, to deny we have a Problem is about like admitting you’ve had a prefrontal lobotomy. So let’s just say obesity isn’t a Problem but a God-given right that we Americans exercise whenever we feel like it. And all these wonderful businesses out there, like Target, as the case may be, are doing their darndest to help us exercise our bodies (who doesn’t want a six pack…of abs?!) and also our rights when it comes to buying high-calorie, low-nutritional value, chemically preserved food-like objects at bargain-basement prices. You know, they’re just helping grease the wheels of Freedom (and our gastrointestinal tracts) with all that transfat. Well, God bless ‘em, we sure do appreciate it. Until next time…